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just-shower-thoughts:
Humanity is like the one smart kid in your class that has the capacity for all A’s if it wasn’t for their poor work ethic....
06 May, 2019
just-shower-thoughts:
You don’t realize how much you take being healthy for granted until you’re suddenly not....
06 May, 2019
just-shower-thoughts:
A platypus lays eggs and also produces milk. Therefore it is one of the only creatures that can make its own custard....
06 May, 2019
just-shower-thoughts:
We all know how to count to 1 billion, but none us have actually done it...
02 May, 2019
just-shower-thoughts:
Humans are so high up the food chain that we breed other top predators and keep them for our enjoyment....
02 May, 2019
just-shower-thoughts:
When you dig up a rock, it could be the first time that rock has sunlight for millions of years...
02 May, 2019
just-shower-thoughts:
Knocking is a much lighter way of punching someone’s house untill they come out and stop you....
02 May, 2019
just-shower-thoughts:
People are more focused on looking rich than being rich, thats why they’re poor. Wasting money on stuff that give the appearance of wealth....
02 May, 2019
did-you-know:
The Inuit have long believed that polar bears are left-handed. They teach their young to jump to the left of a charging polar bear to avoid being clawed by its left paw. Scientists don’t support the claim that the bears are southpaws, but the natives...
02 May, 2019
just-shower-thoughts:
Your phone number is the password a stranger needs to get in contact with you....
02 May, 2019
just-shower-thoughts:
Ice skating is just cursive walking....
20 April, 2019
just-shower-thoughts:
Sneezing is like using a sonar to find polite people...
20 April, 2019
just-shower-thoughts:
Heck is where you go when you believe in Gosh....
20 April, 2019
just-shower-thoughts:
We always think of Zero as the beginning, but it is actually just the midpoint, with an infinite amount of numbers going in each direction away from it....
20 April, 2019
just-shower-thoughts:
No matter how bad things are, someone somewhere wishes they had your life....
20 April, 2019
just-shower-thoughts:
Today is the beginning of 4 holidays in a row; Good Friday, followed by 4/20, followed by Easter, followed by Earth Day....
20 April, 2019
just-shower-thoughts:
Farenheit is based on how humans feel, Celsius is based on how the water feels and Kelvin is based on how the molecules feel....
20 April, 2019
just-shower-thoughts:
Getting a vaccine is just updating our bodies’ antivirus software...
20 April, 2019
just-shower-thoughts:
It’s weird to think that nighttime is the natural state of the universe and daytime is only caused by a nearby radiating ball of flame...
20 April, 2019
just-shower-thoughts:
TAG is an acronym for touch and go...
20 April, 2019
just-shower-thoughts:
A lighter gets lighter the more you light it....
20 April, 2019
just-shower-thoughts:
If gas prices keep going up it will be cheaper to snort cocaine and run everywhere....
19 April, 2019
just-shower-thoughts:
Cheese is just a loaf of milk....
19 April, 2019
just-shower-thoughts:
2019 will most likely be the last year to end with “teen” for the rest of our lives....
19 April, 2019
just-shower-thoughts:
Cough does not rhyme with rough, though, or through. But for some forsaken reason, pony and bologna do rhyme...
03 April, 2019
fakelaurent:
...
03 April, 2019
adamtots:
I really like this poem by Laura Gilpin, so I decided to illustrate it. I’m not sure it’s totally successful but it was an interesting experiment! ??...
03 April, 2019
just-shower-thoughts:
Drinking is like taking a loan on your happiness and it’s due tomorrow morning. With interest....
01 April, 2019
just-shower-thoughts:
The quality of your day is largely determined by the attitude towards the things you can not control....
01 April, 2019
just-shower-thoughts:
Gamers probably like games so much because, unlike in real life, the rules are consistent, make sense, and can be learned....
01 April, 2019
just-shower-thoughts:
Hugging is just trapping someone for 5 seconds to show happiness...
01 April, 2019
just-shower-thoughts:
Phone autocorrecting ‘fuck’ to ‘duck’ is technically okay as they’re both fowl language....
01 April, 2019
just-shower-thoughts:
If a person has a ponytail, their head is a pony ass....
30 March, 2019
just-shower-thoughts:
If banks made 6 billion dollars from overdraft fees last year, then banks made 6 billion off of people who don’t have money....
30 March, 2019
just-shower-thoughts:
Reading is just staring at a dead tree and hallucinating....
30 March, 2019
just-shower-thoughts:
There are about 3.8 billion men on earth, and the average weight of a penis is 100g. There is 837756596 pounds of dick on Earth....
30 March, 2019
did-you-know:
Easter has a different date every year
because it’s based on the moon phases.
In 325 CE, Constantine I led a council
of Christian bishops who decided that
Easter must always be a Sunday to
honor the resurrection of Jesus. They
also said it would...
30 March, 2019
just-shower-thoughts:
if you buy a knife on amazon, you could murder someone, clean it, and return it for a refund. they’ll never find the murder weapon....
30 March, 2019
gunsandfireandshit:
oncelerfucker69:
all those gifs on porn blogs of women slowly putting a popsicle or banana in their mouth because guys go ‘wow it’s like benis hehe’ makes me not want to suck on a popsicle in public. how many of these people are secretly jacking off...
30 March, 2019
just-shower-thoughts:
Not calling an iPhones battery level ‘apple juice’ seems like a missed opportunity....
26 March, 2019
just-shower-thoughts:
Each word is just a number in base 26...
26 March, 2019
just-shower-thoughts:
If you do something constantly for 8 hours straight, it’s an addiction. However if someone pays you for it, it becomes a job....
26 March, 2019
laughingsquid:
David Bowie and Trent Reznor Perform a Gorgeously Haunting Version of the Nine Inch Nails Song ‘Hurt’...
26 March, 2019
just-shower-thoughts:
Half of 8 could be 4,3, or even 0 depending on how you do it...
26 March, 2019
just-shower-thoughts:
Cargo pants will let you hold anything except a conversation with a woman....
26 March, 2019
laughingsquid:
Inigo Montoya’s Guide to Networking Success...
26 March, 2019
just-shower-thoughts:
The school system wants our brain to be a hard drive, not a CPU....
26 March, 2019
heavydirtysoul-24:
...
26 March, 2019
just-shower-thoughts:
Cats and single girls go hand in hand because they’re loving, but value independence. Dogs and single guys go hand in hand because they value loyalty and snacks....
26 March, 2019
terriblerealestateagentphotos:
In the mid 1980s, improved economic conditions for the middle classes led to a dramatic rise in tastelessness....
26 March, 2019
